Scary movies

The things that either make or break a man. Does he watch, a bored look on his face as the killer chases the poor heroine down a long stretch - secretly hoping her bodice will open enough that he gets a peek of a fifteen year old's breasts? Or perhaps, more like it, he's cowering under a sweater or a pillow over his head, wishing for a good hockey game?

Does anyone else think, like me, that women look so STUPID in these movies? Like who in their right mind would go outside if they knew a killer was out there? And who would stand there and scream instead of getting their ass out of there? Or if you thought someone was in the basement, attic, backseat, etc, that you would actually LOOK? Not me! I'd be out of there as fast as these big legs could carry me.

I swear, horror movies are turning more sexual these days too, with nudity, sex, and gore. I love to be scared, don't get me wrong. I loved Psycho, with the whole shower scene, I love Alfred Hitchcock - I know, I'm old, but hey - couldn't think of any other 'writers' of horror. That Craven guy ... he does some scary ones too.

I have taken my poor husband to more horror movies, only to have him come home and leave the bathroom light on, or sit up and watch cartoons all night to get it out of his head. Big baby! Although I have to give him credit for coming with me. He may do it mainly for the popcorn and/or nachos, but it looks as though I have a date at least.

I wish I could write my own horror story. My hat goes off to those people who can write suspense and/or horror. To scare someone so badly that they become children again with nightmares and teddy bears to keep grown men from screaming like little girls. Hang on to your hubbies, girls. Some are sappy and cry at sad movies, while others are upset because they didn't get enough frontal nudity to soothe their savage beast. We women have to sit through enough breasts - hating the actress for her perkiness or wondering what the hell she was thinking because all she has are nipples on her chest. Not all of us are a fake size DD - that's for sure.

Have a good one!

Bonnie

Keepsakes

I've decided it's time to clean out the basement this week. And for those of you who have had children that are now out on their own - this so called basement is more of a haven for dustbunnies and their balls, spiders and their billions of offspring and family.....and .... well, other things I'd rather not mention.

I swear, I have to wonder when going through this stuff just WHAT I was thinking when I decided to keep it. I am the queen of pack rats. They should call me Ratwoman! I could teach a course on the silliest things to hang on to. Yes, we'll call it Pack Rat with attitude 101. Want to sign up?

I found things like baby soothers, baby teeth, adult teeth (from when my son had braces), his retainer, old papers with either nothing on them, or things I wish I hadn't read about my children. Man - I should have been more nosey when they were teenagers! The things they were doing would make you .. well, I'm sure we all did it - who am I kidding? Their good kids now so that's the point I suppose.

I have learned a lot about my family while doing this chore. The first thing is that men will do it anywhere, at any time, and without a care in the world if you're dressed, smell good, or ... human. I'm all dolled up (I use this term loosely) with my hair under a scarf, my face is red and my nose is puffy from sneezing, and I'm sure the outfit I was wearing was cool in the 70's, but for now it's just known as cleaning clothes - and my hubby comes downstairs with his 'hey baby what's happening" look and I'm thinking "oh no.....you've GOT to be kidding me." But no, when he decided to hug me and attempt to get some nookie......I wanted to bury him with the box with the old teeth in it. Ugh! Honestly! I said, "I'm not showered, here!" and he just shook his head and said, "not to worry....I won't look". LOOK! What about SMELL.......TOUCH......good lord. Do men not FEEL? I know they don't have much sense, but we're talking no SENSE at all! Out of five senses, they have one. TASTE - and that's for food.

However, I did also learn that my family had a great life.....lots of pictures, notes, cards, etc. Makes me teary. However, I must go shower before I get attacked again = dust bunnies and their balls and all.........

Have a good one!

Bonnie

Drugging our children

I'm not talking about "Drugs" persay, but I am talking about Ritalin. What is your take on this? I've been reading different opinions on it, watched Dr. Phil about it (yes, I have no life.......kids are grown, it's that or painting my toenails ten times a day and I just don't have the patience for that). Plus my daughter works within the school system and tells me 'stories' about certain kids.

I have to say that I do NOT agree with medicating children under the age of five. I'm not talking about the obvious 'special needs' that we see in kids this age. I'm talking about the ones who simply need discipline, not drugs. I'm talking about the ones who are two years old and are reduced to being 'stoned' because a daycare teacher has trouble and/or the parents at home can't handle them. Ummm.......what two year old do you know that HAS an attention span? To say that they're ADD, or ADHD, is just ridiculous. If they're bouncing off the walls, throwing things, can't eat, etc, that's one thing. But to take away their energy because you can't handle them? If life were that simple my husband would be on it, so I wouldn't have to deal with him!

When my kids were younger they were very energetic. They climbed the furniture, painted the walls, ran for the road, you name it. But did I medicate them? HELL NO! Did I spank them? That's another blog. I did discipline them, and when it comes to their safety there can be no second chances. Whatever you choose to do is your business, but I worry that we're in a world where parents are working so hard and so long that they just don't know what to do with their kids anymore. It's really sad.

I'm not judging people who do medicate their kids. I'm questioning how easy it happens. Are there enough tests done first? Has every angle been exhausted? And another thing. I've been told that kids who are diagnosed with ADD and/or ADHD end up at school with nothing but SUGAR snacks. HELLO! If all I did is eat sugar all day, not only would my breasts continue their trek to my feet, but I would be high as a kite. That's why we grandparents love to fill up the kids with sugar just before they go back to their parents - not when they first arrive!

I want some feedback on this. What do you all think about how we medicate our children? When my kids were in school, this was unheard of. Now I can think of some who needed it, but I can also remember when the kids were handled with more discipline than they get now. Please don't get down to a two year old and ask "are you angry?" or "Did you want to talk about something?" PLEASE! He/she is TWO years old! Damn right they're mad! They probably want to kick the crap out of someone or something, but we have to channel that energy. We have to help our children become the man or woman they were meant to be. And not with the use of drugs.

That's my blog for today!

Bonnie

Valentine's Day

Ahhhhh.............the sweet holiday of love. The time when some men go out of their way to get flowers, candy, videos, sexy lingerie, etc., just to please their women. However, do you notice that most men do this for the first few years of your relationship/marriage, but then it's the women who have to say "did you know that it's Valentine's Day tomorrow?"

How many of you have seen those last minute shoppers? The ones who are standing in front of the teddy bears, chocolates, and card section scratching their head, wondering what to buy their lady. On a t.v. show I was watching, one man told his young son in law that he shouldn't buy anything for his new wife because then she'll expect him to do something every year. Hmmm. We women should be telling each other not to put out on Valentine's, or they'll expect it every year.

I love to just spend time together EVERY day. Why do we need to wait for an excuse to sit together and either watch a movie, snuggle, or ... well, whatever?? It's like we're trained to only be nice at Christmas time, only dress up on Halloween (though this is probably a good thing), only be thankful during Thanksgiving, and show our love on Valentine's. What about the rest of the year? Is this the type of world we want our children to be brought up in? To teach them only to FEEL when the calendar tells them it's okay? I hope not.

My son called the other day to ask what he should get his new girlfriend for Valentine's. They've only been dating a few months, and he didnt' want to send out the wrong 'message'. I'm sure he heard my sigh clear across the telephone line. I tried to be patient, however, and tell him that the only mixed signal he could give her is to NOT be nice every day. That he could buy her anything he wanted, as long as it wasn't for the wrong reasons. I told him to think of something she really likes to do, and go with that. That he didn't have to feel the pressure of buying her anything, because women aren't really that superficial (ha ha......little does he know!!). I did, however, tell him that she is just looking for an acknowledgement that he likes her, that he enjoys spending time with her, and he should show her some affection. OUT OF THE BEDROOM, of course. As if they'll listen........I know my husband and I didn't listen back when my mother told me to keep my legs crossed at all times. He called me back yesterday and told me that they had a fabulous time. I wanted to, but didn't, press for details. There are some things a mother just shouldn't know.

Have a good day, everyone! That's my blog for today!

Bonnie

Super Bowl Sunday

Wow. Superbowl Sunday. I don't know HOW I managed to make it through the entire year for this one day.

I had a great time making the snacks for my dear husband and his friends who just had to come over at noon time to begin the 'countdown' to the superbowl. You'd swear it was the Emmys or the Oscars, the preparation was so important and detailed. I laughed and giggled through all the tiny orde..oh derve.........whatever you call those pre-dinner treats.

I was tickled pink by all the cases of beer that adorned my fridge, the bags of Cheetos and potato chips that lined my cupboard - not to mention the hundreds of peanuts in several bowls.

Yes. Superbowl Sunday. The day where grown men (and not so grown men) decide they will celebrate a sport they perhaps watched all year round - or, in my husband's case, only watch that one day of the year. They pat each other on the back when the team they 'bet' on gets a touchdown, and scratch their ba.. bellies and open their pants as the day wears on.

By the time the game began, the 'boys' were so 'full' (and I'm not just talking about the food) that they were too busy farting, groaning, and heading to the bathroom every five minutes to worry about the game.

Yes. Superbowl Sunday. I have to say it was a great day. A fun day. A day I can't wait another year for it to come around again. Now I have to go because the house is waiting for me to put it back together again.

Oh joyous day........oh happy day.........

Oh GOD give me a break

Bonnie

Plastic Surgery

They should call it "Barbie doll" treatment. After all, if you're having parts of your body turning plastic, you may as well go all the way. Let's get the straw hair, the perky (and no nippled) breasts, and ... well, I won't go into too much detail. Let's just say we won't have to worry about wearing thongs with a Barbie's behind.

I've watched shows where it's so clear who has had surgery. They can't smile correctly, can't frown or they may tear the fake skin that has been placed upon them. And God forbid they have boobs that sink lower than their elbows. They're practically chin rests, for goodness sakes!

What about the lips? Who ever came up with the idea that having big, full lips is a GOOD thing? To have a permanent pout? Or is it that when they were children they were traumatized by the fact they couldn't touch their nose with their top lip, so they fill it up with botox until all they have to do is make 'fishy' faces and suddenly they're the lip/nose champions? Is that it? If that's the case, then I must say I was always jealous of the girls who didn't have to wear a bra. You know them. The ones who had nipples and that's it. I wanted to be able to wear a bathing suit that didn't come with a "whale" tag on it. Where I had my own personal 'buoys'. Floaters? Who needed em? They'd just hang on to me instead.

Now I can understand if you have a huge wart on your nose, or if your face is disfigured or burned......but to have surgery to stay younger? Hello! You're still going to age, whether you look it or not. Then you just become your children's 'strange' mother/grandmother. Can you imagine walking down the mall looking the same age as your mother? That would be so embarrassing! Like having your own Barbie to play with when you're an adult. If I wanted a Barbie, I'd go to Walmart - not a plastic surgeon.

What a world we live in. Men grow old gracefully and are applauded for it. Women, however, we're supposed to remain eternally young or our husbands tend to look elsewhere. I tell ya, if my husband looked elsewhere he'd be doing it with two black eyes! You should never feel pressured to be something you're not. And remember what it was like when you played Barbies and tried to have 'relations' with Ken???? Hard to kiss with a permanent smile - rubbing teeth is just NOT as fun in real life as it was when our dolls did it. And ... well, Ken just isn't as endowed as I like my men to be. Of course....he's always hard......

That's my brew for today.......enjoy!

Bonnie

Infidelity

Well well... I'm off on a tangent again. Plus I learned how to change the color of my letters so I'm all excited. That is, if it comes on the website this way. If not, the letters I see are blue... so I'm not going crazy.

I am focussing on infidelity this time around. We all know what that is. When a man (or woman, I won't be too sexist) decides that he/she has had enough with the person they're with and try to find sex elsewhere. That's all it is, isn't it? Just sex at first? I mean, they're not walking through the park holding hands in broad daylight, sitting talking at dinner, making plans for the future, or going to the movies and sitting up front...

No, they hide in the back row of the theatre, smacking, sucking, licking, whatever it takes to get in a week's worth of love in a ninety minute show. And these people are NOT teenagers. God knows I've seen them and it's disgusting. Or they hide in their cars, talk on the cell phone, or the computer. I've seen shows where people actually meet on the internet and profess love for that person. How do you love someone you never met? How do you know if you have that spark? By the way they write? Do you say "Oh, the way you type your 'O's just makes me moist. " Puhlease! How can you agree to meet someone you have only 'read'?

Being a married woman myself, and a mom to a grown man, I can tell you now that there would be no forgiveness in me if either one of them did something like that. I would not wait on the sidelines while my husband tried to decide if he wanted to spend his time with the twenty year old, no kids, no sagging boobs, no stretch marks, cashier from the local grocery store - or me. Didn't paint a very pretty picture of myself, but that's life. I look at the fact that should he do something like this, I would look like a princess compared to what my husband would look like. Anyone remember John Wayne Bobbit? Well, they would be calling me Bonnie Bobbit. Or Bonnie "Cut it". Yup.....if he's no good to me, he'll be no good to anyone else either.

And the other woman? Lord help her......I would make her life miserable too. I would follow her around and make sure she knew who I was and how I feel. She would run from my husband (seeing as he'll be no good to her and holding on to his precious jewels will be keeping him busy) and I would be laughing. Life is too short to waste it on a man who is so below the human race that he has to find his gratification elsewhere. When you make the vow to love, honor, and cherish a person, you do it for life. You don't do it until the spark goes. God knows I would have been divorced long ago. I love my husband, but we're not teenagers anymore. That's not to say I still don't enjoy a good romp.

Needless to say my husband is too afraid to cheat on me. He knows how I feel and what I would do. And my son knows I would come cuff his ears if he did that to his wife, or even a girlfriend. So you ladies who take your husbands back and allow them to treat you like a dog... shame on you. We're so much better than that, so much a better species, and remember that when God made man, SHE was only kidding.

Bonnie (who is frothing now)

Award shows

This is the season for them. This is the time of year when Hollywood shows their true colors, fighting for the right dress, wearing the most diamonds, or just showing the most cleavage.

I was watching one show the other night, can't remember which one, there are so many this time of year, and the amount of boobs that were flashing, they should have given out the nipple of the year award! There was one actress who bent over to shake hands with the fans and nearly flashed them all. Well, that may work for the People's Choice Awards! But it won't win her an oscar.

I sat back and listened to them as they thanked their friends, their managers, their fans, and ...God. Like they can get away with all the partying, fornicating, cursing, smoking, drinking, as long as they thank God when they win an award. That clears it all. That, and flashing boobs and diamonds.

And the men. They get up there with the same suit they've worn every other year, flash them pretty white teeth, and go back to the table with the broad of the year. Now don't get me wrong. There are those who are very nice to look at, I think are great role models, etc. Tom Hanks comes to mind. Or Mel Gibson - bless him for doing the Passion of the Christ movie. But then you get that.... scruffy, full of himself, Pittbull. I watched "Meet Joe Black" last night just to watch his sorry ass get hit by two cars. I wanted to rewind it over and over again just to watch it happen. Sadistic? Maybe. But I am so sick of him and big lips flashing their love like it's some kind of magical thing that happened. Hello! You had an affair! And to have BL talk about how she could never sleep with a married man because her father cheated on her mother. Excuse me while I get a tissue.........not! And then to go on saying she'd never get pregnant because that would be one less child that she could have adopted. Yeah, now THERE is an oscar winner! Make sure to flash the boobs, Angie, when you thank God for all you've done and where you are in your life. And your kids? I feel sorry for them.

I think we women who stayed home, raised our kids to learn right from wrong, loved our husbands, and were lucky enough to WASH our breasts, let along strap them up for the world to see - should get an award. So I thank my mother, my father, my cat for being my best friend when I was little, my bike for allowing me to ride it every day, my husband and kids for loving me, and all you readers who put up with my rantings.

Have a great weekend, all. Another award show on Monday..........watch out for the nipples!

Tattoos and Piercings

I'm sorry, but there is nothing more disgusting than seeing a beautiful woman, or hunk of a man, covered in tattoos. Gross! You can't even call this a fad, because they are stuck with these things for life! Sure, it looks good now, on their long lean skinny bodies, but what about when they're sixty and seventy years old? Cause let me tell you - the body don't stay as firm as it is when you're in your twenties or thirties. Pretty soon you'll be peeling your skin back to show your grandchildren. They'll be like "Grannie, what's that on your arm? Is that a picture of a snake?" and you'll peel it back, roll out the fat, and say "Nah, darling. that's a kitty cat I had put on there back when I thought it was cool."

Yeah, nice role model you'll make for your kids, now, won't ya? Crazy fools who do this! And to have it out where people can see it! I see young girls with tattoos on their lower back, so when they bend over you can see it - but most of them are digging at their shirts trying to hide it. You can't hide it, darlin. You're stuck with that poison on there forever. And if you meet John and fall in love, get his name tattooed on your ass, soon the dimples of cellulite will take over and John will drown in the fat of your behind. Nice. Poor John never saw it coming. Nor did the lovely heart tattoo that used to sit on top of your perky breast. Now it's hanging low, an upside down heart that you can look at right side up now.

And what about those men who are covered in tattoos? The ones who profess to 'love their momma'. I tell ya, if my son loved his momma that way, he'd have the tattoo of my foot on his ass!! I saw on Oprah where Sandra Bullock's man Jesse James put his life story on his body. HELLO! Write a damn book, man! Let the world read your story, not see it. Yuck.

And piercings. Let me tell you........when I go to a restaurant, or fast food place, and I see someone with earrings coming out of their eyebrows, nose, cheeks, chins, lips, etc.......you'd better not expect a tip. How unsanitary is that? They try to tell us to let kids express themselves. Buy them an easel and some paint! Don't let them destroy their bodies and cause hygiene issues! Can you imagine what it's like trying to put that ring in your nose? Ewww. Can you say boogie hook? Or in your tongue? I can't even handle a canker on my tongue, so forget a ring. Don't get me started with nipple and belly button rings. Everyone needs to take a step back and remember the old days when kids were clean cut, polite, and tattoo/pierced free (except ears). No guns were in schools, drugs didn't run as freely, and God knows the girls weren't being paid $5 to help the boys in the washroom clean their firemen. Junior High boys are NOT clean boys. You want to help your children, get them a job, give them your time, and don't wait to read their life story on their body. Shame on you if you allow this to happen!

I'm steamed now!

Bonnie

New Year's Resolutions

In light of our approaching New Year's Eve/Day, I thought I would talk about the famous "resolutions" that we put ourselves through every year.

I'm not sure how you do things in your house, or if you even pay attention to resolutions, but I am tired of listening to people promising themselves new bodies, smoke free lives, and ... yes, even more sex. I can't imagine you promising yourself more sex if you've been married for as long as I have - unless, of course, you plan to get it elsewhere. And there is the other option, becoming asexual and then we won't need our husbands after all. They can have their beer, their porno, and their sports. We can take care of everything - even ourselves!

I will be the first to admit that I've done the New Year's Resolution thing. The promise to be skinnier, nicer, color my hair more often, call the kids more than once a week, that sort of thing. But I never did it. Too much pressure on myself after the holidays! After eating constantly for days, weeks, neverending munching and lazing - why put that much pressure to change? Why wait until January 1st? Why can't we do it now? December 30. Let's declare this our New Year's Resolution day! But then we'll worry about New Year's Eve. The night when people who don't drink all year round suddenly become drunks; smokers go from one to two packs a day, the panic of having to give them up forcing them to get a life time's worth in that last week. People who want to diet after the new year spend every waking moment eating all those things they want to give up.........and we hold off on sex hoping your libido will magically pick up just because Jan. 1st has arrived.

Come on ladies (and gents........can't leave you poor babies out), let's face it. We are just as beautiful now as we were a year ago, we're just as nice, just as sexually inactive.....it won't change because of a date. We should just be happy with who we are and what we're doing with our lives.

Bonnie (who is sitting back with rolls of fat hanging over her pants, gray hairs rearing their ugly heads in the roots of her scalp, and doesn't plan to 'do' her husband anytime soon. New Year's Resolutions...........BAH HUMBUG! )