Virgin and gay-wannabe Smart Fallon desperately wants to come out of the
closet. When he moves to the big city and college, he figures he's found his
chance. In fact, he finds even more than that when he meets Tommy and Mike,
his first gay friends.
Will Smart ever find his own love, though? Maybe he will, if he can make it
through everything life throws at him. Alex is everything he wants, but
Smart isn't sure if he and Alex can find their way and help Tommy and Mike
make it through. Can they all find happiness?
He'd known for a long time. Really... you know. He had just never acted on
the knowledge. Well, not overtly anyway. He first knew early in high school.
Before that he thought he just wasn't interested in girls yet. Then he
realized he just wasn't interested in girls.
He found himself watching closely as his teammates played ball. The way the
muscles in their legs would move and stretch; then he became obsessed with
the muscles in their backs. He found himself more and more often having to
hide a boner in the middle of some class or sport.
He finally admitted it to himself when he started looking at guys' lips.
Their mouths, come on! Mmm. He would fantasize about them, and that was his
definitive recognition that he was truly gay. He wanted to kiss Tony Elkins,
guard on the basketball team, with a single-minded, dedicated need. Tony
would have knocked him into next week if he had even looked at him funny.
But he wanted to.
That began his lonely existence in the gay world of Small Town, USA. It was
such a small, rural town that sports was the only thing to do or to watch.
They didn't have cable or any of the high-tech stuff that would have let him
know he wasn't so alone in his feelings. He didn't have a computer at home,
not that Internet access was available there anyway.
He had one of those late birthdays, so when he started school he was a
little younger than others in his class. But he was smart. Really smart. He
was so intelligent that he was on both the ball teams and the academic
teams, such as they were. They had contests against other small schools and
due to his knowledge of lots of trivia, always won. He just tended to
remember things he had either read or seen. He had a knack for figuring
He was something of a novelty in his area. Not that much to speak of, but he
had his niche. The smart one. The geek. He had even been called "Smart"
instead of Steve since he was in about second grade. Everyone called him
Smart as a matter of fact. Lots of people didn't even know his real name and
some had forgotten. He had gotten used to it.
He won a scholarship to the biggest school in the state. His parents were
thrilled and his friends were jealous, but he was just excited to be getting
away to a bigger city so he could learn more about the world and education.
But what he really wanted to know was what there was out there for people
like him. Homos. Queers. Faggots. You name it and the guys had joked about
it. Somehow, he never could joke about it. Higher education was truly an eye
opener for him.