Lucky Mr. M by Jasmine Aherne
lightly erotic contemporary romance, part of our playtime line
novella (about 20,000 words)
Cover Art by Pink Petal Books
Lorna’s never been good at exploring her own desires, let alone pleasuring herself. So when the opportunity to try a sex toy arises, her friends persuade her to purchase a “Mr Mammoth” vibrator. Little does Lorna know, her new friend Mr M will bring her closer not only to herself, but also to the prospect of romance…
“I’m not so sure… I mean, I don’t even have anyone to try it out with.” Lorna hesitantly ran her finger over the smooth, glossy pages of the adult toys catalog. The sleek shape, length and ridges of the advertised vibrator promised “toe-curling, ceiling-high” pleasure – and who wouldn’t want that?
Lorna and her closest friends, Kate, Susie and Sara, had piled into Lorna’s living room and sprawled lazily across her comfy, but threadbare, couch. Something girly and upbeat flowed from the stereo in the corner.
“You won’t regret it.” Kate, a curvy brunette, purred into her wineglass. “And who says you need a man? The very point of these things is that you get the best part of a man without the other junk that comes with it.”
“I guess so.” Lorna flipped a few pages.
She had invited her three closest friends over to cross off one more thing in their “209 things to do in 2009 list” – to attend a promotional party in which an adult store rep came to show off toys, lingerie and edible sex aids – and then to purchase one of the said toys.
Now, the cheerful rep, with her bouncy hair and sticky pink lip gloss, had left, handing the girls glossy-paged catalogs, and Lorna and her friends, still thinking about what to order, had promised to get in touch.
Kate’s list of things to buy covered two pages of sky-blue notepaper already. “Why the hell not?” she said, as she flicked her pen and added a set of cute PJs to the items. “I mean, in the immortal words of Woody Allen, ‘Don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone you love.’ I mean, if you can’t get properly intimate with yourself down there, why would a man want to?”
“Right,” Susie, a petite blonde, chipped in. “How’re you ever going to show him what you like?”
Lorna eyed the vibrators in the catalog and couldn’t help wondering if any man faced with one of the giant penises wouldn’t feel a bit, well… small in comparison. She checked out the specs for one of the “mammoth” toys and doubted it would even fit inside her.
She’d never been overly liberated when it came to sex. And she’d never shared that with anyone, until one fateful night with her friends. Too many cocktails, added to a large supply of chocolate and a sexy film on the TV, had led to Lorna confessing that her sexual experience with men up to this moment in time could be described as a little… limited.
Thus, the sex toy exploration had been added to The List.
Lorna couldn’t say she felt any better, even after handling some of the vibrators. She supposed she might feel differently on her own in bed, a few mango-scented candles lit, and an image of a shirtless Johnny Depp playing in her mind.
Kate nudged her. “You said you don’t have any one to try them out with. Is that true? Or is there someone you like?”
“Ooooh,” Susie chimed in.
Lorna rolled her eyes. “We’re not in high school anymore, you guys.” But her cheeks did flush a bit.
Kate whooped. “There is! I knew it. Who is it?”
Lorna sighed. “My roommate has this friend who stops over sometimes, Jamie.” Just thinking about him made her insides melt into the consistency of gooey chocolate. When she closed her eyes she saw his floppy brown hair, ocean-blue eyes, and the dark shadow of stubble that made him look so mysterious. “But I doubt he’s interested in me.”
Susie held up the catalog and waved it before Lorna’s eyes. “He might be interested in what one of these babies can do for him.” She pointed at the cock rings, some shaped with stimulating points and ridges. “Apparently they make him stay harder for longer.”
“I think I’ll worry about getting a man first, rather than keeping him hard,” Lorna said, but she laughed along with her friends.
Kate finished her wine. “Okay, it’s late, and I have school tomorrow.”
That made Lorna laugh again. “It concerns me that you can fondle fake penises by night and teach elementary school by day. I suspect you’re corrupting our children from the inside.”
“Someone’s got to,” Kate shot back. She shrugged her jacket on and smoothed down her dark hair. Then she patted the catalog. “I’m going to place my order tomorrow night. You have until then to order one of these bad boys. And I mean it – I want to see something in the email you send me, or…”
“Or I won’t make any cookies for our film night next month,” Susie put in. “I play hardball.”
Lorna had to admit, she couldn’t do without her friend’s legendary cookies.