When they all went in to eat there was the usual trading places and the kids getting all out of sorts while their parents made up their plates first, and Spencer took it upon himself to keep the troop of little ones entertained while the rest of the family did the real work.
"This spot taken?" Dean asked, sitting down right next to him.
"Is now." Spencer smiled at him and glanced at the baby Dean was holding. "How did you wind up with that?" It was Beth's baby, Harper, the latest addition to the clan.
"I was walking past and boom, arm full of kid." Dean seemed pretty at ease holding the baby, though he wasn't moving any more than was absolutely required. "If Harper here wakes up, though, you're taking over."
"Uncle Spencer!" Luke yelled from across the table. "Brother says you 'n' Aunt Mary are like me 'n' him."
"'Brother?'" Dean whispered.
"They call each other that." Spencer shrugged. "Mary and I tend to call each other 'Boy' and 'Girl', so it might be a twin thing." He looked at Luke and nodded. "Yep. Your aunt and I are twins, same as you and Matt. But you two are identical twins. Do you think Aunt Mary and I are identical?"
Luke stared at him and then he and Matt, who were sharing a chair, started giggling. "She's a girl," Luke informed him. "She don't got a penis."
"This is very true." Spencer nodded seriously. "So we feel really, really sorry for her, okay? And all the other girls in our family."
Dean almost choked.
Matt and Luke looked around the room and then got up on their chair to look behind them into the kitchen before sitting down again. "There's a lot of girls."
"Uh-huh. So we can feel sorry for them, but remember -- they're strong and they can hit pretty hard, so we don't tell them we feel sorry for them."
Spencer winced at the voice behind him. "Did she hear?" he stage whispered to the twins. They nodded, eyes huge. "Okay, here's a tip," Spencer said to them. "When you say things like that, make sure your Grandma isn't anywhere nearby."
They nodded again, slowly. "You're in trouble."
"Yes. Yes, I am."
His mother snorted. "All right. Sophia, bring the meat. Ginger, help Maddy with the salad, please, she's about to lose the tongs. Elizabeth -- good girl, thank you. Just put it beside the chicken. Marilyn, bring the iced tea." She moved away and sat at the end of the table, nearest the kitchen. At the head of the table, Spencer's dad was already in place, his lap full of three year old Savannah, who he shooed to her own place as everyone finally sat down.
The next few minutes involved everyone passing the baby around from lap to lap and filling plates until finally there was an actual silence for twenty seconds while people ate. It didn't last long, but it was enough to make Spencer's mother smile as her family showed their appreciation.
People started talking and snippets of conversation floated around Spencer, mostly about when Mary and Brian would be setting a date and what kind of wedding they wanted.
"Oh, that's easy," Mary said, waving one hand. "We're going to get married on the Saturday closest to Valentine's Day."
Spencer rolled his eyes and leaned toward Dean. "She got all the cliché genes in the family."
Dean laughed and reached across Spencer to get to the potato salad. "I think it's got more to do with vacation time and heading south for their honeymoon. What better time to take a cruise?"
"You know a lot about this." Spencer tried very hard not to sound like he was resenting the fact that Dean was clearly much more informed than he was. Mary was, after all, his twin.
"I was up all night with Brian while he rehearsed. I got to hear about when they want to get married, where, where they want to go after, what they want the groomsmen to wear --"
Spencer snickered. "That's where they get what they get. I have four sisters. I bought my tux for high school graduation and that's what I wear when I usher. The colors change, but it's the same damn tux. I saved myself a fortune in rentals." He'd always been vaguely pleased with his foresight at seventeen, when he’d looked at all his sisters and knew that he'd spend a lot of time in a tuxedo. It was too much to hope that any of them would elope, although Ginny and Adam had come damn close.
Dean blinked slowly at him, then looked him up and down very carefully. "You're the same size as you were in high school?"
Spencer felt himself grow hot all over from the look. "Yes," he said, his voice scratchy. "It still fits."
"Huh. Really. My waist size might be the same, but my body is totally different from when I was a kid."
Throat dry, Spencer couldn't reply. Dean's gaze was traveling over him again, up and down and in about three seconds Dean was going to see --
"Oh." That was all Dean said, but he gave Spencer a dark smile and Spencer thought maybe he saw Dean nod a tiny bit.
At the other end of the table, thankfully, the sisters had turned up their volume to talk over the kids. "We need to make a list of who's done it already," Ginny was saying, laughing. "Beth did it for me."
Spencer concentrated on breathing and willing his cock to go down. Dean wasn't looking at him anymore, was instead saying something perfectly innocent to Michael on his other side, but it hardly mattered. The smile Dean had given him, and the knowing look that went with it, had been anything but innocent.
"Soph, it's okay," Mary said loudly. She was beginning to look exasperated. "You don't need to decide who's going to --"
"And Mary was maid of honor for Beth --" Soph carried on, clearly determined to go through every family wedding. "When I got married --"
"Spencer is going to do it." Mary was almost shouting to be heard.
Silence fell, utterly and completely, everyone staring at Mary. Even the youngest children, with the exception of Harper and Evan, were looking curiously at her.
"Spencer is." Mary nodded sharply as her three sisters, as one, let their mouths fall open. "He's my twin. He's my best friend. He's going to be my maid -- my attendant. Right, Boy?"
Spencer, who had neither any idea at all how to fight any instinct that had anything to do with Mary, nor any real desire to deny her anything, nodded. "Right, Girl. You and me."