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Amber Grosjean
March 15th, 2010, 12:20 AM
Well this is the end of week 2. We discussed things that goes into the book like scenes, plotting, more on characters, and more. If you have any questions please ask now so we can go into them further here. I will keep this thread open for you as we begin the next section of this seminar.


Ask anytime!

Amber

Amber Grosjean
March 21st, 2010, 12:39 PM
We're at the end of the third week now. Do you have any questions about editing or the ending of your story?

If you have any questions about any other part of the novel writing process up to this point, you can still ask. Don't worry about asking the wrong questions because there is no such thing as a wrong question, or a stupid one for that matter. You're here to learn or refresh your memory. Please, ask away and I will help you the best I can.


Amber

Gwyn Lacy
March 23rd, 2010, 02:01 PM
you say she "looked" into his eyes; or anything about eyes? I keep getting to many "looks" and "eyes" and then you have to remember whose point of view your in!
For instance:
Her eyes darted away from his
She narrowed her eyes
She looked at him
Her eyes followed his
His view was blocked
Her sight focused only on him and the other dancers became blurs.
Any ideas?:err:

Amber Grosjean
March 23rd, 2010, 03:14 PM
Ok, "looked" is one of those words that can be changed for the same meaning.

Glance, Peered, Became lost, etc are good choices. Think to yourself how your character looked into someone's eyes. Sometimes that can help determine the right choice. Also combining sentences can avoid the problem altogether.


Example:
The window to his soul darted away from her sight; she pulled his face forward so she could become lost in those eyes once more.

Using the semi colon there will give the reader a chance to get a short pause like the period would but it combines the two sentences together for a shorter pause. Semi colons can become a handy trick in that process of joining two sentences together. Of course, you do have to do it correctly lol. That's why English class is important lol. If you don't do this often, it is a break from trying to have too many sentences. The flow of your words is important and should never appear or sound choppy or forced so let it become natural.


How are your sentences exactly. Can you share a little of it? Insert the entire paragraph and let's see if we can fix it.


Amber