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MM Pollard
August 9th, 2012, 08:36 PM
Please post your homework and questions for lesson 5 here. MM

janet2write
August 10th, 2012, 12:45 PM
I enjoyed doing the online testing. I find it fun and informative._Janet R
Past and Past Progressive
Test 1 exercise 1: 12/14
2: 9/10 (silly typo)
3: 18/19 (I believe this should be 19/19. I spelled traveled they called it an error and used travelled
Test 2 exercise 1: 8/9
Past Perfect and Past Perfect Progressive
Test 1 exercise 1: 8/9
Test 2 exercise 2: 7/8
Test 3 exercise 3 8/8

MM Pollard
August 10th, 2012, 02:07 PM
Janet, I agree with you on traveled. You really did super on these quizzes. MM


I enjoyed doing the online testing. I find it fun and informative._Janet R
Past and Past Progressive
Test 1 exercise 1: 12/14
2: 9/10 (silly typo)
3: 18/19 (I believe this should be 19/19. I spelled traveled they called it an error and used travelled
Test 2 exercise 1: 8/9
Past Perfect and Past Perfect Progressive
Test 1 exercise 1: 8/9
Test 2 exercise 2: 7/8
Test 3 exercise 3 8/8

madcapmaggie
August 10th, 2012, 08:52 PM
Please post your homework and questions for lesson 5 here. MM
Here is a paragraph that's been giving me trouble (both content and verb-wise)) It has three sentences that "qualify" and one that I'm including simply for clarity.
1. I'd gotten anxious about what everyone thought about me.
2. Every time one of the speakers would mention sin and sweep his gaze over the congregation, I was sure he meant me.
So, okay, maybe I worried too much.
3. I still didn't want to go, not that I had any choice in the matter.


** more **
4. I turned my back, and after a moment, I heard my door click shut and Dad's footsteps retreat down the hall. T

5. Keth told me later Major Reynolds failed to obtain permission from the officers in charge of the tribunal to allow an alien to attend.
Question: can I get away with "failed" rather than "had failed"? Editor on previous novel was allergic to "had".


6
I don't know if Tom would have admitted he'd done anything, but one of the guards had seen him lurking outside the building and reported him to Major Reynolds.

Question: Can I use "saw" rather than "had seen"?

7.
All Alan had to do is show me a tiny bit of sympathy and I crumbled into a pathetic heap.

8. No relatives ever came to visit us, even when Dad was stationed on New Oregon.

9.

If she had been small enough, I would have picked her up by one corner and dropped her in the trash disposal.


10
I couldn't bear the idea of pushing past anyone, so I slipped into a seat in the last row.

MM Pollard
August 11th, 2012, 04:23 PM
Margaret, my comments are within your assignment. Any questions? MM


Here is a paragraph that's been giving me trouble (both content and verb-wise)) It has three sentences that "qualify" and one that I'm including simply for clarity.
1. I'd gotten anxious about what everyone thought about me. I would drop 'd here. I got anxious about what everyone thought about me.

2. Every time one of the speakers would mention sin and sweep his gaze over the congregation, I was sure he meant me. I would drop would. Every time one of the speakers mentioned sin and swept his gaze over the congregation, I was sure he meant me.

So, okay, maybe I worried too much.
3. I still didn't want to go, not that I had any choice in the matter. correct


** more **
4. I turned my back, and after a moment, I heard my door click shut and Dad's footsteps retreat down the hall. Correct

5. Keth told me later Major Reynolds failed to obtain permission from the officers in charge of the tribunal to allow an alien to attend.
Question: can I get away with "failed" rather than "had failed"? Editor on previous novel was allergic to "had".
Margaret, I think you need had before failed here. Your editor can ax it if she wants to. You obviously have two actions here. Keth telling you and Major Reynolds failing to get permission. Reynolds's action has to happen first.

6
I don't know if Tom would have admitted he'd done anything, but one of the guards had seen him lurking outside the building and reported him to Major Reynolds.
What tense are you using to write -- past or present? I don't know is present tense. Is this dialogue? If not, you should correct: I didn't know if Tom would have.....The other verbs are correct.

Question: Can I use "saw" rather than "had seen"? I don't think so.

7.
All Alan had to do is show me a tiny bit of sympathy and I crumbled into a pathetic heap. Present tense verb here -- is:
All Alan had to do was show me a tiny bit of sympathy .....

8. No relatives ever came to visit us, even when Dad was stationed on New Oregon. Correct

9.

If she had been small enough, I would have picked her up by one corner and dropped her in the trash disposal.
correct

10
I couldn't bear the idea of pushing past anyone, so I slipped into a seat in the last row. Correct

madcapmaggie
August 11th, 2012, 04:34 PM
Margaret, my comments are within your assignment. Any questions? MM

Thanks for the comments.

Kaye Spencer
August 11th, 2012, 10:00 PM
1. It was a cruel reminder that her attempt at freedom had failed.

2. It took no imagination to figure out what Rocchelli had planned for them.

3. The dog probably belonged to the kid Eddie had recently taken a liking to.

4. "Eddie didn’t actually say we had to keep you alive ‘til he gets here."

5. It hadn't been the first beating she'd endured nor was it the worst.

6. She had no doubt it was for show, and it was an effective weapon.

7. Eddie wasn’t the only one who’d had enough.

8. "I told the doctor what had really happened and why Eddie's goons were stationed outside my hospital room door."

9. It was spitting snow and the wind had picked up by the time Ceara pulled into a town just off the highway.

10. "If I'd had more time, I'd have deciphered it myself."

saibot11
August 12th, 2012, 01:47 AM
Thanks MM for all of your help. This is my fourth class with you and I appreciate your approach to grammar. I’m starting to understand how to write a deeper POV and make better sentences.

Writing parent letters are much simpler. You need to use short simple sentences, otherwise the parents get confused. On Monday, I’ll have at 30 brand new First Graders and their parents waiting at my door. Doesn’t that sound fun? Junior high students are not my forte, so I guess I should count my blessing. At least I have a job.

Here are my 10 sentences:


Since the door had been left open a crack, it opened with only a push.
Once his horse had been tied to the post, Dusty dismounted and strolled through the double doors of Roger’s Tavern.
Dusty and Reynolds had been covered from head to toe with a thick coat of dirt, when they entered the room.
Since her marriage had been fruitless, no immediate family member would inherit the ranch.
Liz’s diary had been hidden in a secret compartment and Dusty found it.
After the last steer had been loaded into the railroad car, the cowboys cheered, “Yahoo."
The day his grandfather had been laid to rest, the bank called in the deed to the ranch.
Even though Dusty had been chasing cows most of his life, today’s strenuous roundup caused every weary bone and muscle in his six-foot frame to ache.
When Liz had entered the shop earlier, she recalled the distinct fragrance of lavender.
Birdie was sitting on the edge of her bed when Liz walked into the adjoining room.

MM Pollard
August 12th, 2012, 09:34 PM
Thank you, Jeanne. 30 first graders -- I think you are the brave one!!! Hope you have a wonderful school year! A friend of mine has a new job teaching 2nd graders. I do miss all of the pre-school getting my room ready stuff, but I do love what I'm doing now. Thank you for cheering me on.
My comments are within your assignment. MM


Thanks MM for all of your help. This is my fourth class with you and I appreciate your approach to grammar. I’m starting to understand how to write a deeper POV and make better sentences.

Writing parent letters are much simpler. You need to use short simple sentences, otherwise the parents get confused. On Monday, I’ll have at 30 brand new First Graders and their parents waiting at my door. Doesn’t that sound fun? Junior high students are not my forte, so I guess I should count my blessing. At least I have a job.

Here are my 10 sentences:

Since the door had been left open a crack, it opened with only a push. correct
Once his horse had been tied to the post, Dusty dismounted and strolled through the double doors of Roger’s Tavern. correct
Dusty and Reynolds had been covered from head to toe with a thick coat of dirt, when they entered the room. You are talking about two guys walking in dirty. If you had said before they entered the room, then the past perfect would work. You said when -- that makes a difference. Dusty and Reynolds were covered from head to toe with a thick coat of dirt when they entered the room. no comma needed.
Since her marriage had been fruitless, no immediate family member would inherit the ranch. correct
Liz’s diary had been hidden in a secret compartment and Dusty found it. Let's make both clauses active voice: Liz had hidden your diary in a secret compartment and Dusty found it.
After the last steer had been loaded into the railroad car, the cowboys cheered, “Yahoo." correct
The day his grandfather had been laid to rest, the bank called in the deed to the ranch. don't need the comma. Are ever any good bankers in westerns? :turned:
Even though Dusty had been chasing cows most of his life, today’s strenuous roundup caused every weary bone and muscle in his six-foot frame to ache. correct
When Liz had entered the shop earlier, she recalled the distinct fragrance of lavender. When is she recalling? When she entered the shop, or now?
Birdie was sitting on the edge of her bed when Liz walked into the adjoining room. Was sitting is past progressive -- you have used this tense correctly.

MM Pollard
August 12th, 2012, 09:40 PM
Kaye, my comments are within your assignment. Thanks for participating in this workshop. MM


1. It was a cruel reminder that her attempt at freedom had failed. correct

2. It took no imagination to figure out what Rocchelli had planned for them. correct

3. The dog probably belonged to the kid Eddie had recently taken a liking to. correct

4. "Eddie didn’t actually say we had to keep you alive ‘til he gets here." no perfect tense, but the sentence is correct as is.

5. It hadn't been the first beating she'd endured nor was it the worst. The verbs here are alerting my teacher extraordinaire sense, but I need to see the sentences before and after to say what's wrong.

6. She had no doubt it was for show, and it was an effective weapon. no past perfect tense, sentence is correct

7. Eddie wasn’t the only one who’d had enough. correct

8. "I told the doctor what had really happened and why Eddie's goons were stationed outside my hospital room door." correct

9. It was spitting snow and the wind had picked up by the time Ceara pulled into a town just off the highway. correct

10. "If I'd had more time, I'd have deciphered it myself." correct