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View Full Version : Ask not what you can do… --a slot for wayward questions. (Ask me, ask me!)



sjwilling
April 1st, 2008, 12:57 AM
Feel free to use this space to toss various questions at me that you feel don’t fit in with the teaching posts. I will answer most questions except ones like “Are you pregnant?”, “Is your dog fat?” and “Who was that woman I saw you with at the Nationals because it wasn’t your wife?”

(To that last questioner… I have the five grand, when can I get the photos?)

So please feel free to throw your writing/humor questions at me and I’ll do my very best to answer. And if I can't answer I'll do my very best to ignore the question. :biggrin:

S.J.

tree220
April 1st, 2008, 10:28 AM
“Who was that woman I saw you with at the Nationals because it wasn’t your wife?”

(To that last questioner… I have the five grand, when can I get the photos?)

S.J.


wow if he's willing to pay 5 grand for those pictures I wonder what he'll pay to keep the video of him in his pink negligee, posing manly on his log pile while singing I Feel Pretty?

joyroett
April 1st, 2008, 10:30 AM
Innocent? I looked up the word 'incorrigible' in the dictionary today and to my surprise the definitions were: 1. SJ Willing 2. SJ Hundak.

Hmmmm, I wonder why that was...

sjwilling
April 1st, 2008, 10:33 AM
Innocent? I looked up the word 'incorrigible' in the dictionary today and to my surprise the definitions were: 1. SJ Willing 2. SJ Hundak.

Hmmmm, I wonder why that was...

You'll never get me to admit that I paid them....

:whoohoo:

S.J.

mamasand2
April 1st, 2008, 07:32 PM
Innocent? I looked up the word 'incorrigible' in the dictionary today and to my surprise the definitions were: 1. SJ Willing 2. SJ Hundak.

Hmmmm, I wonder why that was...

That wasn't in my dictionary. You must have a newer, improved version.
Where can I get one? (aways a step behind) :dizzy:

sandie

sjwilling
April 1st, 2008, 08:23 PM
That wasn't in my dictionary. You must have a newer, improved version.
Where can I get one? (aways a step behind) :dizzy:

sandie

We sell them at

S.J.WillingPublications...

:whistling:

S.J.

mamasand2
April 1st, 2008, 09:40 PM
We sell them at

S.J.WillingPublications...

:whistling:

S.J.


SJ, I should'a known. :duh: :duh: :duh:

ROFLMAO I,m gonna charge you for the tape for my ribs.

sandie

sjwilling
April 1st, 2008, 09:54 PM
SJ, I should'a known. :duh: :duh: :duh:

ROFLMAO I,m gonna charge you for the tape for my ribs.

sandie

Send me your address and I'll forward a roll of duck tape (just don't take it off)

:lol:

S.J.

mamasand2
April 1st, 2008, 10:34 PM
Send me your address and I'll forward a roll of duck tape (just don't take it off)

:lol:

S.J.


Around you SJ, that would be safest for my ribs.

Hey, I could even use some for your mouth. That would work even better.:roflmao:

sandie

sjwilling
April 2nd, 2008, 12:58 AM
Around you SJ, that would be safest for my ribs.

Hey, I could even use some for your mouth. That would work even better.:roflmao:

sandie

No problem there I don't use my mouth to type...

:)

S.J.

mamasand2
April 2nd, 2008, 08:11 PM
No problem there I don't use my mouth to type...

:)

S.J.

Now SJ, you know I'm not going to follow that obvious lead...

I am considering asking tree to duct tape your fingers before sending the tape on. I suppose she would want to wait for the end of spring Showers, although I am enjoying the thought of you using that mouth on your keyboard. smilies/1poke.gif LOLOL

sandie

sjwilling
April 3rd, 2008, 10:23 AM
Now SJ, you know I'm not going to follow that obvious lead...

I am considering asking tree to duct tape your fingers before sending the tape on. I suppose she would want to wait for the end of spring Showers, although I am enjoying the thought of you using that mouth on your keyboard. smilies/1poke.gif LOLOL

sandie

For some reason my tongue keeps getting stuck on the letter O

S.J.

hollie
April 3rd, 2008, 10:59 AM
this might explain why the letters have rubbed off on Robs keyboard ???? mmmmm never thought of that

joyroett
April 3rd, 2008, 11:10 AM
For some reason my tongue keeps getting stuck on the letter O

S.J.

ROFL. Yup, incorrigible.

sjwilling
April 3rd, 2008, 11:50 AM
this might explain why the letters have rubbed off on Robs keyboard ???? mmmmm never thought of that

Not saying a word, us men have to stick together. :roflmao:


ROFL. Yup, incorrigible.

Alas I'll never change. :)

S.J.

mamasand2
April 3rd, 2008, 06:01 PM
Not saying a word, us men have to stick together. :roflmao:



Alas I'll never change. :)

S.J.



SJ, I am shuddering at the mere thought of saying this but:


THANK GOD, 'cause you put Lots of Laughter in my life.


sandie
:thankyou:

Now, tomorrow it's back to pistols at 40 paces!

sjwilling
April 3rd, 2008, 06:20 PM
That's what we're all put here for Sandie.

:)

S.J.


SJ, I am shuddering at the mere thought of saying this but:


THANK GOD, 'cause you put Lots of Laughter in my life.


sandie
:thankyou:

Now, tomorrow it's back to pistols at 40 paces!

Shelley Munro
April 3rd, 2008, 11:25 PM
Um, looking nervously over my shoulder. Is it SAFE to enter this room????

Shelley smilies/bump.gif

mamasand2
April 3rd, 2008, 11:42 PM
Um, looking nervously over my shoulder. Is it SAFE to enter this room????

Shelley smilies/bump.gif

Shelley, it's definitely an "enter at your own risk area" and make sure you have very good insurance.

Then say your prayers because SJ is on the loose.

sandie

sjwilling
April 4th, 2008, 03:42 AM
Um, looking nervously over my shoulder. Is it SAFE to enter this room????

Shelley smilies/bump.gif

They don't untie the jacket while I have visitors Shelley so you're fine. :)


Shelley, it's definitely an "enter at your own risk area" and make sure you have very good insurance.

Then say your prayers because SJ is on the loose.

sandie

Aw I'm not that dangerous. Well, not until I get Mildred back.

:wideeyed:

S.J.

hollie
April 4th, 2008, 03:06 PM
Sj i told you Mildred
is not allowed
untill july and then only if you are a good boy

tree220
April 4th, 2008, 03:20 PM
Sj i told you Mildred
is not allowed
untill july and then only if you are a good boy

you mean he can't have her back unless he's a good boy? darn, guess she'll never come home . . .

mamasand2
April 4th, 2008, 04:46 PM
Sj i told you Mildred
is not allowed
untill july and then only if you are a good boy


http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif
I give up. I gotta know. WHO or WHAT is Mildred? http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gifhttp://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gifhttp://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gifhttp://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif

sandie *dying of curiosity*

tree220
April 4th, 2008, 05:35 PM
http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif
I give up. I gotta know. WHO or WHAT is Mildred? http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gifhttp://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gifhttp://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gifhttp://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif

sandie *dying of curiosity*

Mildred is SJ's pet chainsaw

sjwilling
April 4th, 2008, 06:55 PM
She helps me run my handburger joint.

Mwaahahaha

S.J.

mamasand2
April 4th, 2008, 09:26 PM
She helps me run my handburger joint.

Mwaahahaha

S.J.

I'm sure it's really dumb to ask but;

Is that a hand made hamburger or...

http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif sandie

sjwilling
April 4th, 2008, 10:44 PM
I'm sure it's really dumb to ask but;

Is that a hand made hamburger or...

http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif sandie

My circle of acquaintances dwindled drastically when Mildred came into my life

:wideeyed:

Hey, Wanna come have a picnic in the woods with us, Sandie?

:biggrin:

S.J.

mamasand2
April 5th, 2008, 12:06 AM
My circle of acquaintances dwindled drastically when Mildred came into my life

:wideeyed:

Hey, Wanna come have a picnic in the woods with us, Sandie?

:biggrin:

S.J.

I'd like to hope you mean with Tree and you but I know you better than that.
I know I'm being set up but since I'm such a sweetheart, I'll bite.

Ok SJ, lets have a picnic in the woods.

sandie :hide: (wincing already)

hollie
April 5th, 2008, 07:38 AM
http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif
I give up. I gotta know. WHO or WHAT is Mildred? http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gifhttp://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gifhttp://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gifhttp://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif

sandie *dying of curiosity*

you don't want to know but she is a good girl really


I'm sure it's really dumb to ask but;

Is that a hand made hamburger or...

http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif sandie

no he ment HANDburger


I'd like to hope you mean with Tree and you but I know you better than that.
I know I'm being set up but since I'm such a sweetheart, I'll bite.

Ok SJ, lets have a picnic in the woods.

sandie :hide: (wincing already)

NO!!!!! never never never go into the woods with SJ unless Tree or Dani are there (only they can control him) i know Mildred is safe here but you never know what he's upto

SJ i said you had to be a GOOD boy if you want her to be allowed home

tree220
April 5th, 2008, 01:55 PM
you don't want to know but she is a good girl really

it's only in SJ's hands that she turns evil

no he ment HANDburger

yes you don't want to be around when he's searching for meat for his burgers

NO!!!!! never never never go into the woods with SJ unless Tree or Dani are there (only they can control him) i know Mildred is safe here but you never know what he's upto

SJ i said you had to be a GOOD boy if you want her to be allowed home

And Dani and I are smart enough not to go to the woods with him.

Who's definition of good Hollie? Have to make sure there's no loopholes here for him to slip through.

sjwilling
April 5th, 2008, 03:51 PM
And Dani and I are smart enough not to go to the woods with him.

Who's definition of good Hollie? Have to make sure there's no loopholes here for him to slip through.

I'm good at making handburgers, therefore I'm a good boy. Okay where's Mildred ?

:innocent:

S.J.

hollie
April 5th, 2008, 04:12 PM
no SJ you have to get 3 yes votes to get her back mine, Tree's and dani's
and ask my kids i'm really mean i work in a school

sjwilling
April 5th, 2008, 04:43 PM
no SJ you have to get 3 yes votes to get her back mine, Tree's and dani's
and ask my kids i'm really mean i work in a school

Wanna hear a school joke?

Mother : "Tommy it's time to get up, you have to go to school."
Tommy : "I don't wanna get up."
Mother : " Tommy, get up NOW and get ready for school!"
Tommy : "I don't wanna go to school! The kids hate me, the teachers hate me, everyone hates me! I don't wanna go there anymore."
Mother : "Tommy. You've got to go to school. You're the school principal!"

:biggrin:

S.J.

tree220
April 5th, 2008, 04:47 PM
Wanna hear a school joke?

Mother : "Tommy it's time to get up, you have to go to school."
Tommy : "I don't wanna get up."
Mother : " Tommy, get up NOW and get ready for school!"
Tommy : "I don't wanna go to school! The kids hate me, the teachers hate me, everyone hates me! I don't wanna go there anymore."
Mother : "Tommy. You've got to go to school. You're the school principal!"

:biggrin:

S.J.

*groan*

well at least you are talking about BAD humor in this week's lessons . . .

mamasand2
April 5th, 2008, 04:49 PM
SJ, I have a question for you.
I think that this started out as a seminar on humor before it denigrated into...
How do you categorize this?? What pop's into my head is 'slap stick'. But I've never tried to break it down before.

sandie http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif

sjwilling
April 5th, 2008, 05:15 PM
SJ, I have a question for you.
I think that this started out as a seminar on humor before it denigrated into...
How do you categorize this?? What pop's into my head is 'slap stick'. But I've never tried to break it down before.

sandie http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/board/images/icons/icon5.gif

I'd categorize this mainly as a character combined with a silly humor.

It's definitely the Laugh Fest style, since we're dealing with things that aren't real and are very likely not to be real (I mean, me running a human abbatoir in the forest just to make a living off a few handburgers, could you see me do that...?) And I think it's those exaggerations of real life that make it look like slapstick.

Slapstick humor, and this is why it's hard to recreate in text, is the combination of character banter and physical events. Think The Three Stooges, eye poking, head slapping, type humor. Or some of the crazy events in a typical Marx brother's movie. (not all of the Marx Brothers humor is slapstick, they have quite of bit of snark/character and silly humor in there too.)

Some of the best written slapstick that I've seen comes from the Harvard Lampoon books. The Bored of the Rings comes to my mind, and the final scene where Frito and Spam finally dispose of the One Ring. I'll give you more of that later though, in the slapstick lesson of the course. :)

S.J.

mamasand2
April 5th, 2008, 05:56 PM
Thanks, SJ. I'm afraid all you're doing is showing me how little I do know about Humor. But I am very good at laughing at it. And you Maestro, have given me more laughs in the last month than I've had in years.
sandie:notworthy:

sjwilling
April 5th, 2008, 10:04 PM
Thanks, SJ. I'm afraid all you're doing is showing me how little I do know about Humor. But I am very good at laughing at it. And you Maestro, have given me more laughs in the last month than I've had in years.
sandie:notworthy:

I'm sorry Sandie hope I'm not putting you off. Glad you're laughing though, cos part of learning to do humor is seeing it. :)

let me know if there's anyway I can help you with all this.

S.J.

mamasand2
April 5th, 2008, 11:47 PM
I'm sorry Sandie hope I'm not putting you off. Glad you're laughing though, cos part of learning to do humor is seeing it. :)

let me know if there's anyway I can help you with all this.

S.J.

My problen SJ, is that I haven't studied humor and that there may even be a generation gap(I would deny it of course). I'm familiar with The Three Stooges humor and even some of the Marx brother's stuff. So now with what you said, I can identify slap stick from that. However the Harvard Lampoon books and The Bored of the Rings I've never even heard of.
I'm still getting a lot out of this and out of just being around you and your friends and watching you at ?work/play?.
sandie

sjwilling
April 6th, 2008, 09:09 AM
My problen SJ, is that I haven't studied humor and that there may even be a generation gap(I would deny it of course). I'm familiar with The Three Stooges humor and even some of the Marx brother's stuff. So now with what you said, I can identify slap stick from that. However the Harvard Lampoon books and The Bored of the Rings I've never even heard of.
I'm still getting a lot out of this and out of just being around you and your friends and watching you at ?work/play?.
sandie

Bored of the Rings is a very usual book. It's a parody of Lord of the Rings (as you probably guess from the name) it was originally printed in 1967 and had it's last reprint in 2007. It's one of the longest running written parodies of the modern day. Most of them don't survive more than a couple of print runs, let alone almost fifty years of them.

:)

I only recommend it if you're not a Lord of the Rings purist, (it would offend you) and you like the Pratchett style slapstick humor. I loved it as a teenager. Enough that I can remember bits of it twenty five years later.

:)

S.J.