Angel sipped softly at her morning coffee, she hadn't suffered an experience
last night, thank God. She needed a break from the gut wrenching fear she
suffered each time they came for her. That needle they'd stuck in her stomach
the last time had been painful to say the least, and having the horrid bug-eyed
freaks staring her in the face and murmuring their mental bullshit didn't do
much for her mentality either. Maybe they'd leave her alone for a week or more,

Just as Angel was finishing her coffee and getting up to put the cup in the
sink, there was a knock at the door. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was
eight in the morning and wondered who it could be. She had no close friends, no
family left alive that she knew of, and none of her fellow abductees knew where
she lived or even what her real name was. She shrugged, it was probably someone
lost or something, and went to open the door.

Angel opened the door and nearly closed it again when she saw who it was. Damn!
The fed was standing there. How had he found her?

"What do you want?" She snarled.

"To talk with you, may I?" He asked, stepping in as if she'd invited him over
for early morning tea.

What did he want now? She was sick to death of the feds and all they stood for.
She'd been dealing with them for several years now and they were not her
favorite people.

"Well, just come on in, why don't you?" She growled angrily. Why the hell didn't
they just leave her alone?

"I know you're angry, I don't blame you really." Angel saw Darek's chest move
with a deep breath.

He really has great abs! She thought absently.

"Yes, I am, why don't you feds just give up? I didn't kill my parents, and I
haven't done anything to get myself arrested since I was sixteen, so why do you
all take such an interest in me?" She shoved her hair out of her face and over
her shoulder as she huffed into the kitchen to make more coffee. She was going
to need all the caffeine she could get at this point.

"I'm afraid I lied to you yesterday. I'm not a fed as you put it, and I'm not a
fan of your father's novels. I've never even read one of them. I just thought
you'd be more likely to talk to those kinds of people."

"Well, you thought wrong." Angel turned to him again, after ladling out the
coffee grounds and adding the water to the coffee maker. "I hate feds, and I
hate my Dad's fans even more. So, whoever you are, you've got about five seconds
to tell me the truth and then you're out of here, regardless. Otherwise you're
going to be the one dealing with the feds."

"I'm an investigator."

"What kind of investigator?" Angel asked suspiciously.

"I investigate alien abductions. I'm trying to find abductees that have little
or no memory loss of their experiences."

"How did you find me?" She sighed, it was bound to happen sooner or later.

"It wasn't hard, while you may use an alias, you fit the description of the
woman known as the Black Rose."

Fuck! She thought she'd covered her tracks better than that. He'd probably found
the few tabloid photos that existed where the Papparazi had gotten a shot of
her. Most of the photos were too grainy to really tell if it was her, but for
someone with the right equipment it was possible.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Who's the Black Rose?" Better to play
dumb than for him to know he'd actually found her.

"I have an enhanced photograph from a newspaper photo of you, this is you, isn't

Angel glanced at the photo and visibly swallowed. It was her all right, and
there was no getting around it. Either this guy was lying and he was a fed, or
he could actually be the researcher he claimed. But why go through those two
different stories before? Why not just come right out and tell her the truth?

She could smell the coffee, and turning her back to him to give herself time,
she slowly opened the cupboard and took down another cup.

"Do you take cream or sugar?" Angel asked, still not looking at him.


Using the ritual of making coffee as a shield, she thought quickly about what
she could tell him and how quickly she could get him out of her life. She hated
researchers who weren't abductees themselves almost as much as the feds, but she
knew they had their place and she couldn't fault him for trying to track her
down. She knew more than many abductees did about their experiences, but how
much could she tell him and still send him on his way and know that he'd never
be back?

"Here you go." She said, handing him his coffee. "So, you're a researcher.
You're not an abductee yourself, are you?"

"No, but I've extensively studied the phenomena, and I'm committed to helping
abductees learn to live with their experiences. One of those ways is in helping
them regain their memories. Unfortunately, in most cases the memories regained
are hazy at best, and are mostly composed of the natural terror and horror of
the experience itself. I'm hoping that if I can find some individuals that have
total recall of their experiences, I'll be able to help them all find a way to
stop the experiences from happening all together."

That was an interesting idea. She'd never thought the fact that she had full
and total recall of her memories would make her different from other abductees.
She'd just assumed that unlike most there were a fewer number of those like
herself that were allowed to remember everything in detail.

"Do you have total recall of your memories, Angel?" Darek's voice soft sounded
soft to Angel's ear as he interrupted her thoughts.

"Hm." She answered absently, still caught up in her own memories.

"Do you?"

Angel looked up at the man whose eyes were the same color as hers before she
answered. "Yes, I have total recall. I could tell you anything and everything
you ever wanted to know about being an abductee, if I wanted to that is."

As she stared into his eyes, he put his coffee cup down on her kitchen table and
walked slowly towards her until he was standing in front of her and she had to
tilt her head back just to keep eye contact.

"And will you?"

"Will I what?"

"Will you tell me anything and everything I need to know about what it's like
being an abductee?"

Angel moved away quickly. This guy was dangerous! His nearness, his smell had
her heart fluttering wildly. He didn't smell like most men she knew who either
smelled sweaty, or wore so much cologne she practically gagged. Darek smelled
like a dark forest with ancient cedar trees, and she was very much afraid that
she was attracted to him, very attracted.

"Look, this isn't going to work." She told him. "I can't help you, now please
go." There was no way she could work with him, if she was this attracted to him
after only two meetings, god only knows what would happen in a few weeks.

"May I ask why?" She felt his hands settle on her shoulders.

"You touch me too much and you get too close!" She blurted out, his touch
sending her thoughts scattering to the winds.

"And that bothers you?" She felt his heat closer to her back, as he leaned
nearer to her, if that was possible.

"Yes, it does. I don't like people getting close to me, and I hate being touched
even more." Angel told him simply before disengaging herself yet again.

I won't look at him again, I just won't, she told herself, her back to him.
However, some little demon inside egged her on, and she turned to face him

"All right, I won't touch you, and I'll stay over here. Now will you tell me
about your experiences?" Angel saw that he held his hands up in a defensive
gesture that made him look like a person being held at gunpoint.

The hands are just a little too high, she thought, before she pushed the
uneasiness of it away and turned her attention to his question.

"Look I don't think anything I can tell you is going to be all that different
than what any abductee could tell you under hypnosis. Also, there have to be
others like me who have total recall, you should seek them out."

"You are wrong Angel Whitedove, there are no others like you."

The man had the tenacity of a bull dog. He wasn't going to go away.

Angel folded her arms and hunched her shoulders, not realizing she was trying to

"How about this, how about I give you an interview today, totally anonymously,"
Angel warned, her voice hard, "and then you get out of my life and never come
near me again."

"I may need to speak with you again at some later date to compare notes."

"Fine, two more meetings after the initial interview, but that's it!" She
barked, her hands going to her hips, and her feet stepping apart in battle

She'd been had! The man was standing there with a stupid grin on his face for
all the world as though he'd won the war instead of simply the beginning
skirmish. Well, she knew the way to wipe that look off of his face!

"I want to see your credentials and ID now!" Her foot tapping impatiently, her
hand held out demandingly. He wanted a war, he was going to get one!


Damn the man! He'd anticipated her question.

Darek handed the requested papers and ID over.

Angel glanced at the ID suspiciously. "I'd better not find out later these are
fake or you're in big trouble bucko!"

"They are not fake."

"They'd better not be." Angel told him again, handing them back to him.

"May we do the interview now?"

"Sure why not, it's not like I have any plans for today." Angel told him, not
any that she was going to tell him about anyway. He could take a flying leap at
the moon before she was going to tell him anymore than she had to. She was more
than a little miffed at him for backing her into a corner.

"Shall we sit at the table and get comfortable?"

"Yeah, sure fine." Surly had become her middle name this fine day but she
refused to feel guilty about it.

The man had the audacity to pull her chair out for her as well. He'd better damn
well pull out my chair, she thought, cause I'm pissed as hell at him right now!

"So, what do you want to know?" He'd even brought her coffee back to her before
she sat down, and added some more to warm it up. If this one thought he was
getting under her skin with his solicitous mannerisms he could think again!

"What is your first abduction memory and how old were you?" Darek asked.

Well, that was easy enough, she'd been three at the time and it was when they'd
put that fucking implant in her nose cavity. It hadn't come out until it had
started causing her serious nosebleeds. Her parents in fear it actually happened
had taken her to the doctor and had x-rays which to their horror showed the
small metal piece embedded in her nasal cavity. She could remember her mother
crying hysterically, and her father trying to comfort both his wife and daughter
who was also crying now in fear.

"I was three years old when I had my first memory of the Greys coming for me. I
was in my bed, and I remember the room lighting up as though it were a football
stadium at night. This bright white light just flooded the room. At first I
thought it was the Spirit beings that my parents had told me about; stories from
both my mother's people and my father's of benevolent beings of light who love
and help mankind. Beautiful stories, I used to love those stories, but my belief
in them was shattered that night." Lost in memories she hadn't thought of in
years, Angel paused seeing things that she thought only she could see.

"I used to scream after that whenever my parents would start a story about the
Spirit beings." She said as an afterthought. Then, "Where was I? Oh, yes, well
they took me that night, floated me right up and off my bed out a window that
wasn't even open and up, up into a brightly glowing silver lighted ship. I still
thought the benevolent Spirit beings had come to take me away for ride." Her
voice turned sad, as though she knew that the Greys had forever destroyed her
faith in the possibility of a higher power and its helpers. "But they weren't
benevolent, and they sure as hell weren't the Spirit beings. They were monsters
with gray skin and huge black eyes that wrapped around their heads like those
awful sunglasses all the kids are wearing now. You know the ones that are almond
shaped and wrap around the skull. I have flashbacks just about anytime I see
them on someone. Anyway, the gray beings were only about four or five feet tall
at most, but to a small child they appeared as giant demons. The worst part,"
she shuddered visibly "was that they would talk in your head, all kinds of
nonsense about how they weren't going to hurt you." Her voice dropped in horror.
"But they did, they did hurt me," she whispered, "they jammed a piece of metal
up my nose, I could actually hear the cartilidge crunch from the force they
used." She paused, "I cried for a week, my poor parents couldn't figure out what
was wrong with me, or why I was crying all the time. It wasn't too long after
that that I started having serious nosebleeds that would last for an hour or
more. The second time it happened my parents took me to the doctor. He found and
removed the implant." Angel ended quietly, without making eye contact with