This post is inspired by Heather at The Galaxy Express and her post, Attention, please! This is your heroine speaking.

Dear Author,

I salute you. You sit for long hours in front of the computer as you labor over our stories. Without you none of us would be here. Mostly, you do us proud but Iíd like you to consider the following:




1. Please, please donít make me go down to the basement when there is a killer on the loose. Credit me with a little common sense and help me do something intelligent. I donít want readers to snigger at me and call me Too Stupid To Live. I deserve more than that, donít you think?

2. I know popular opinion says heroines are slender and pretty, but how about making me stand out from the crowd? Make me sexyĖsure, I like sexy as much as the next girl, but I can be sexy and an average size. Give me a few curves. Donít you know I enjoy food? Oh, and if you give me curves, donít go on and on about my size. Iím happy, really I am.

3. Please donít take a stereotype and foist it on me. Iím not a hooker with a big heart. Iím not an ice princess. Iím not a geeky librarian. Give me individuality.

4. I like alpha menĖreally, I do, but at least give me a spine so I can stand up to them. No wimps should apply here.

5. Iím not perfect. I know that, but do you know it too? Give me some flaws and balance them with some of the good stuff. Make me human because readers will like me better that way.

6. Give me a snarky voice. Iím cool with that, but donít make me snark all the way through the book. Readers wonít like me if I do that. They might call me a bitch, you know, and wonder what the hero sees in me.

7. Likewise, if my hero is going to be a bastard, let him fall off his high horse at some stage. Make him see the error of his ways or at least let me use my knee in his private parts. It might hurt him, but it would make me feel better after all the verbal abuse.

8. And finally, if youíre gonna make me have anal sex, please, please, please give me some lube.

Yours faithfully,
A Heroine.