And this is my last excerpt before I bow out for the night. I'll be back in about 12 hours though.
All I'll tell you about this one is that Moon and Srin are having dinner when Srin tells her something very important.
“I need to tell someone. Before I forget.”
Her gaze flew to his, resentment forgotten, to meet a wall of stolid sadness. He knew! He knew what they were doing to him! From one mental tumult to another, her brain raged between anger and confusion—how much did he remember? Would he hate her for working with his captors? Was she part of what he remembered?
“I only know as much as I can deduce,” he told her softly and quickly. “Faint thoughts occur to me. If I concentrate on them, they seem to become stronger with each cycle.”
“You know,” she whispered back, through bloodless lips, still stuck on his initial bombshell revelation. “You know what they’re doing to you.”
His smile was wry. “Don’t you think I’ve noticed my own face in the mirror each morning? How I’ve aged? How Hen has aged? I have faint memories of waking up in dozens of places, speaking to hundreds of people. It can’t all be fantasy.”
She stared at him, dumbstruck. He knew. Savic was wrong. Savic didn’t have him under control as much as he thought.
“How long is the cycle?” he asked abruptly.
She blinked. “Two days.”
“Two days,” he repeated. He was silent for a long moment, then swallowed convulsively. “The bastards.”
“How long have you known?”
She stopped, suddenly mindful of what a stupid question that was. If he recognised the faint recollections as real, he might have known for almost as long as he was drugged.
“It feels like I’ve always known something was amiss.” He took a sip of wine and Moon marvelled at how steady his hand was. The liquid didn’t even tremble in its fragile, carved glass bowl. Maybe he was calm because this wasn’t the first time he’d broached this subject with someone. Maybe he remembered telling someone else.
“Who else have you confided in?” she asked suddenly.
She couldn’t imagine someone in the kind of mental cage he was locked in not reaching out to someone at the first available opportunity. But how could she reconcile that with Savic’s unshakeable confidence in the treatment?
So she was shocked to hear him say, “No one.”
“But how can you know?” She felt like she was kicking a small animal, but it was only her logic sliding into place.
“I…leave messages for myself. They’re coded and hidden, but they tell me things of significance. I’m sure there have been times when I haven’t had a chance to record anything. I get the impression they’ve moved me around a lot. But—” he lifted his hand and rubbed his thumb and forefinger together, as if rubbing against a scrap of fabric, “—there’s a feeling attached to a significant memory. It’s only faint, but it’s there. And that feeling tells me I haven’t told anyone else about my recollections.”
She was the first person in almost twenty years he had confided in? Rather than feeling flattered, Moon felt like the walls of the lab were closing in on her. She drew a panicked breath.
“You’re the first, Moon,” he added, unnecessarily.
“Can you help me? Can you stop what they’re doing to me?”
Yikes! That's the LAST thing Moon wants to hear!