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  1. Elizabeth Black's Avatar
    Reading: "The Hour Before Dark" by Douglas Clegg
    Just Finished Reading: "Portent" by James Herbert
    TBR: Lots!
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    On the Massachusetts coast, next to the ocean, with my husband and four cats..
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    #1

    To Funny Cat Joke: Giving The Cat A Pill




    I can vouch for the accuracy of the cat
    part, having suffered injuries trying
    to give my cats their pills.

    ----

    How To Give The Cat A Pill

    Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook
    of your left arm as if holding a baby.
    Position right forefinger and thumb on
    either side of cat's mouth and gently apply
    pressure to cheeks while holding pill in
    right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill
    into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and
    swallow.

    Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind s
    ofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

    Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy
    pill away.

    Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left
    arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand.
    Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth
    with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a
    count of ten.

    Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from
    top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

    Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between
    knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low
    growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head
    firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler
    into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's
    throat vigorously.

    Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill
    from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and
    repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines
    and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing
    later.

    Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on
    cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put
    pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open
    with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

    Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans,
    drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply
    Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood
    from carpet with cold water and soap.

    Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill.
    Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to
    leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert
    spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

    Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard
    door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek
    and check records for date of last tetanus jab.
    Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from
    bedroom.

    Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the
    road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence
    while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

    Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine
    and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy
    duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth
    followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head
    vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to
    wash pill down.

    Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit
    quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and
    removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture
    shop on way home to order new table.

    Arrange for SPCA to collect cat and ring local pet shop
    to see if they have any hamsters.

    How To Give The Dog A Pill

    Wrap it in bacon.






    Elizabeth Black
    It's Time For Hot, Screeching Monkey Sex!
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  2. Diana Castilleja's Avatar
    Reading: The next book to fall off the bookshelf.
    TBR: 450+
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    Diana Castilleja is offline
    #2

    Default



    That is soooo true. Especially the dog line. You could wrap it in shoe leather and they'd still eat the darn thing. LOL
  3. Joyce DiPastena's Avatar
    Reading: Wrong Number, by Rachelle Christensen
    Just Finished Reading: The Silver Branch, by Rosemary Sutcliff
    TBR: lots!
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    Jul 2009
    Location
    Arizona
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    Joyce DiPastena is offline
    #3

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    Oh, too funny! I gave a cat a pill once and followed him around the house for I'll swear a full 20 minutes before he finally spit it out! Gives new meaning to the phrase, "the patience of a cat". (Which is far more patience than I have!)
    Joyce DiPastena

    "Sweet" romance in the Middle Ages

    Loyalty's Web available from Amazon and DeseretBook
    Illuminations of the Heart available from Amazon and DeseretBook
    "An Epiphany Gift for Robin", included in the Christmas Anthology, Stolen Christmas: hardcopies available from Createspace and Amazon; e-book copies available from Smashwords

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  4. Elizabeth Black's Avatar
    Reading: "The Hour Before Dark" by Douglas Clegg
    Just Finished Reading: "Portent" by James Herbert
    TBR: Lots!
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    On the Massachusetts coast, next to the ocean, with my husband and four cats..
    Posts
    116

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    Elizabeth Black is offline
    #4

    Cool

    I've tried hiding a pill in cat food. Doesn't work. Cat eats around the pill. Damned little monkeyhead.


    Elizabeth Black
    It's Time For Hot, Screeching Monkey Sex!
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  5. Cara Bristol's Avatar
    Reading: Modern Day Vampires: Vampire 101 by Paige Tyler
    Just Finished Reading: Training the Receptionist by Juniper Bell
    TBR: 10+
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    Apr 2010
    Location
    An island north of Seattle, WA
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    Cara Bristol is offline
    #5

    Default Tip for giving a cat a pill

    You can buy a "pill shooter" at the pet store. It's like a large eye dropper. You put the pill in it and shoot it down the back of your cat's throat. It makes giving your cat a pill a lot easier...on you and the cat.
  6. Joyce DiPastena's Avatar
    Reading: Wrong Number, by Rachelle Christensen
    Just Finished Reading: The Silver Branch, by Rosemary Sutcliff
    TBR: lots!
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    228

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    Joyce DiPastena is offline
    #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cara Bristol View Post
    You can buy a "pill shooter" at the pet store. It's like a large eye dropper. You put the pill in it and shoot it down the back of your cat's throat. It makes giving your cat a pill a lot easier...on you and the cat.
    I didn't know this. Very cool! Thanks, Cara!
    Joyce DiPastena

    "Sweet" romance in the Middle Ages

    Loyalty's Web available from Amazon and DeseretBook
    Illuminations of the Heart available from Amazon and DeseretBook
    "An Epiphany Gift for Robin", included in the Christmas Anthology, Stolen Christmas: hardcopies available from Createspace and Amazon; e-book copies available from Smashwords

    www.joyce-dipastena.com
    JDP NEWS

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