I completely agree with you especially if the characters don't connect their really is no story. Everything really depends on the characters if their is to be any sex scenes. Have to admit I have not really read really mind blown sex scenes but just have read sex scenes that are nice well not nice but that would make you believe like you would want to be in that scene.As a singleton, I love romance novels because they, for me, represent a little bit of hope...in book form. lol Even the dream of a happily ever after is enough to keep you from slitting your wrists during major holidays, such as the upcoming Valentine's day.
I'm like Sandy though. I don't necessarily like gratuitous sex scenes. As a matter of fact, it is extremely painful for me to write them. So, I don't. Allude to the fact that the act is coming and then I cut it out. In the sequel to my first novel, I grudgingly wrote one at my best friend's request and it's two paragraphs long. lol And I still won't read it. LOL It's crazy. I feel like the real romance is in the emotional connection and not the sex. If your characters don't connect in a compelling way, sex means nothing.