Deviations I-IV, a series co-authored with Chris Owen. It is comprised of four (yes, count 'em, FOUR) books exploring the deep emotional and physical relationship between Tobias, a Dominant Master and Noah, his submissive lover. These books have a Dom/sub basis but are all true romances at heart.
Books I, II, and III (Submission, Domination, and Discipline) have been released and all have excerpts in my forum. Book IV is due out in November 2007.
EXCERPT"Sir says he wants to play with me in uniform," Noah said. He winked at Phan, acknowledging his mumbled suggestion.
"Of course he does." Phan downed half his glass of Coke and burped discreetly. "And you're okay with fucking him now? Cool."
"What?" Noah snorted. "I didn't say that," he protested.
Phan raised an eyebrow. "Oh. I… huh. Noah? Wanna tell me what was said? Because I don't see Sir wanting to do fantasy play where he's all agro on a cop. I could be wrong, though." But he didn't sound like he thought he was.
"He just said if I wanted to play in uniform he'd be up for it... I made a joke about him wanting to be patted down by a horny cop—" He stopped talking. "Oh." He gasped softly, the implication of those words becoming clearer in his mind.
Phan nodded sympathetically. "Uh huh. Sorry, sweet thing. You pretty much told him you'd top."
He had, hadn't he? And not just top, but fantasy top, almost Dom even. Or actually. Oh fuck. "Oh fuck," he repeated out loud this time. "Why would he want that? You think he really wants that?"
Phan looked around, behind himself. "It's me. Didn't we already have this conversation? Yes, that's what he wants." Phan tilted his head. "I'm giving the cuddles this time, aren't I? Right then. Couch time. Come on." He stood up and took Noah's hand, almost dragging him into the living room.
"Yes, we already had this conversation." Noah reluctantly had to admit. "I don't need cuddles, I need a reality check." Noah sulked along behind Phan. "And I'm cuddling you. I've been looking forward to it all day."
"Really?" He got a shy smile. "Me too. Okay, you cuddle me and I'll give you a reality check. Wanna lie down or sit up this time? I fell asleep last time we were lying down, remember."
"That answers your question." Noah sat and held out his arms.
Phan curled into him, wiggling and squirming until they were both comfortable and warm against each other. Noah knew that part of the cuddling—the largest part—was that it made Phan feel safe. He was able to talk better, be more honest, if he felt cared for. And it was an easy enough thing to do, once Noah understood what Phan was after.
"So," Phan said. "You haven't managed to get any more comfortable with the idea of… being with him that way. Any idea why?"
"I'm submissive, Phan." The answer was so perfectly clear to him that Phan's question seemed almost ridiculous. Subs don't top. Subs are fucked, used, loved, whatever; they're not in the driver's seat.
"So?" Phan sighed. "He's a Dom. He likes anal sex—getting laid by having a nice hard cock up his ass. You like it, why can't he?"
Noah sighed. "It's just... weird." That wasn't terribly eloquent but it was true. It was weird. Awkward. Unusual. "I know what he wants me to do, Phan, I just... I'm not sure I can do it." He hugged his arm around Phan tighter. "I mean if I'm in my space first, then maybe I can do whatever he wants, right? But then he'd have to ask me, then. And you said he wouldn’t ask. But if he did, I guess I could pull it off. It's just hard to think about rationally." He was babbling now, he knew. "Damn it. Am I making any sense?"
Phan nodded. "Yeah," he said quietly. "Sounds like you're pretty sure you won't like it. What happened the last time you topped?"
"What do you mean what happened? It was forever ago, I barely remember it."
"So how come you're so sure you won't enjoy it? Look, kiddo—we've got kinks. Our sexual identities don't fit into nice little boxes. Where on earth did you get so attached to the idea that subs don't ever top?" Phan looked up at him and brushed a hand along Noah's arm in a strangely comforting gesture. "If you really don't like it, he's not going to make you. Not this."
Noah sighed. "I know," he said softly. "I'd like to though, if he'd enjoy it. There's nothing I wouldn't do to please him, really, it's just... it's not that I'm stuck thinking inside a box, Phan, it's just... it's complicated." Noah shook his head. 'It's complicated' were the last two words anyone should ever say to Phan, particularly if you wanted to stop talking about something. "Damn."
"Oh, complicated," Phan said expansively. "That changes everything. Just stick a sign on your dick that says 'Sorry, Sir. It's complicated'. He'll just nod and let it go. Like I am right now. Because we know nothing from complicated. I'll shut up if you talk, right the fuck now."
"You're a little shit, you now that?" Noah snorted, giving Phan a gentle shove, and knowing that Phan knew he was just playing. "God." Noah rubbed his face and tried to figure out how to start. "Listen. This doesn't go beyond you and me, okay?" He knew didn't have to say it, but something in him needed to.