The other day, a fellow writer asked group to list rules we as parents set for babysitters or the kind or rules we received when we baby-sit. I posted the below for her ref but thought you all might find it amusing if not exactly useful.
I'm listing a few rules that we write in stone for whoever is looking after our kids. Now, bear in mind that some of these rules apply only to either to my kids (aged 7, 6 & 3 all boys) and because I happen to live in an apartment instead of a house.
1. The large window in the living room with the magnificent view of the city is to remain closed at all times. (My kids love to step on a small chair and get their heads out like dogs on cars, so I'm afraid
of any ala Michael Jackson baby dropping contingency).
2. The sliding door to the balcony is to remain closed and locked.
3. Look especially after the 3 Y.O., the older ones like to pick on him. (Don't they always?)
4. Have them eating by supper by 7:00 PM at the latest.
5. On school days, make sure kids are in bed by 8:00 PM.
6. Do not open the door for anyone. I don't care if it is the Pope's son or you think you know the person. Anyone authorized to enter the apartment has a key. No one else!
7. If you have to change the diapers, please dispose of them in the special waste bin in bathroom. If you use the one in the kitchen it will impregnate the whole house with the fumes. (Okay, that’s a bit outdated since the youngest already stopped using diapers.)
8. You can make popcorn for the kids, but no more than one bag per movie.
9. Telephone is for emergency use only.
10. I'm not your father, but if I find you on the sofa making out with your boyfriend, I'm getting my gunshot out of its locked compartment. (Just in case the babysitter didn't understand rule #6)
The last one is a favor I always ask of them:
Please do not connect to porn sites on my computer, my wife later thinks it was me!
Okay, that's about it, just remember to check the references first.