A few cautionary words regarding popular phrases of fortitude and courage that family, friends and strangers will use to help you through the tougher parts of life.
1. That which does not kill us makes us stronger- Check first, you may have become undead.
2. Love conquers everything - But a whacking big gun does it faster.
3. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer - to the biggest execution squad you can find
4. Friends will stick with you through thick and thin - after a judicially applied amount of crazy glue to relevant body parts.
5. Deep in enemy country where it's the two of you versus 100 of them a true comrade will cover your back all the way - with at least the sights of a 8.9 mm as he backtracks into the forest leaving you lying tied naked in the mud for the bad guys to find.
6. "For 100 dollars I can give you the most heavenly ride of your life" - If you lie down on the bed to have sex with me there's half ton of dynamite under it which I'm gonna blow after I've climbed out of the bathroom window and driven twenty miles away...