Hi:

I thought I might offer a suggestion about your query letter. You might want to shorten it. Usually, query letters are only 250 -350 words long. Also, it's usually better to start with the character's name, not a general description of the book. There's quite a few sites out there that might help you prune it to perfection. :-) You might want to check out the links on Agent Query DOT com. They have a few sample query letters available to take a look at. Hope this helps! Good luck finding a critique partner. :-)